There are many aspects to premature ejaculation, some of which are more obvious than others.
For example, men who are naive in terms of sexual relationships find the sheer excitement of seeing a naked woman in bed can get them so aroused they ejaculate very quickly indeed. You might think that overcoming this was more about gaining sexual experience than anything else, and of course in part you would be right.
However there is another aspect to this, which was brought home to me by talking to a man who spent several years in a state of isolation, satisfying his sexual urges by solo pleasuring, and never daring to speak to a woman, at least not in the context of seducing her into a sexual relationship.
He told me that he finally managed to overcome his inhibitions and fears by doing two things: first of all he’d actually looked at a great deal of sexual material on the Internet, so that he’d learned the basic mechanics of the sex act in all its forms. He then actually practiced this using a sex toy, pretending that he was actually making love to a girlfriend.
The thing he’d done was to become very familiar indeed with the female anatomy, and in particular the layout of the female genitals, by looking at educational websites on the Internet. He told me that it was only by doing these two things that he’d actually managed to overcome his fear of not “knowing what to do when he was with a girl”, and as a result he managed to approach a woman and become friendly enough with her for them to strike up a sexual relationship.
What it said to me at the time, and in retrospect I can see this very clearly indeed, was that his enthusiasm and passion for being in a relationship was sufficient to overcome his fear, and gave him the confidence that he needed to strike out in a way that many men never actually feel able to do.
Of course if you want anything badly enough in this world, including a sexual relationship, you can usually get it, but this was a very striking example of a man taking matters into his own hands, and finding a way in which he could use various unusual techniques to increase his confidence around sexuality and the idea of intercourse.
So my recommendation to you if you happen to be in a similar position is to adopt a similar approach: instead of looking material purely as a way to obtain sexual relief through masturbation, but it is an educational resource, and find out how men and women actually have sex. Study pictures of lovemaking from every angle, so that when the day comes when you’re actually in a sexual situation with a woman for real, you have a clear sense of what you can actually do with her !
And also study some techniques which will allow you to satisfy a woman, since you’re not likely to be able to make love for very long first time you try it, and you’re more likely to experience premature ejaculation, watch films that will show you how to engage in oral pleasure with a woman so that you can give her an orgasm and make her feel that she’s had an enjoyable time in bed with you.
Nobody is expecting you to be a sexual expert the first time you make love to a woman: and on this point, it’s probably more important to be honest and open with her than to pretend that you have sexual experience when you don’t. If you like a woman and she likes you, then nothing should be off limits, including talking about your lack of sexual experience.
However it’s true that there might be some requirement here for an element of judgement, and I think that you need to temper your approach to complete openness and honesty and relationship by ensuring that you’re not going to be humiliated or shamed in any way because you haven’t gained more sexual experience before going to bed with a particular woman.
My final piece of advice is to look at websites on sexual techniques, which will allow you to establish a fair degree of confidence and adaptability, so that you actually able to pleasure a woman satisfactorily. Even if your own sexual technique when making love is lacking, you can always take a woman to orgasm during foreplay, using either mutual masturbation, solo masturbation, oral stimulation.
If you learn the techniques that are involved in these strategies, then you’re much more likely to be successful in bed, and gain her approbation and ensure that the relationship continues for long enough for you to be able to gain a great deal more sexual confidence. That way you can be a man who actually is on an upward track in terms of gaining sexual experience and establishing greater and greater confidence with women.